Series Editor Letter

v

Acknowledgments

vii

Introduction: It’s a Messy Business

1

PART 1

MAKING A MESS

Chapter 1

Mission Impossible?

9

Chapter 2

What’s Your Problem?

16

PART 2

MAKING A COMMITMENT

Chapter 3

Should I Stay or should I Go?

27

Chapter 4

Does it Take Two to Tango?

33

PART 3

MAKING IT WORK

Chapter 5

You’re Both Hurting

43

Chapter 6

Everyone’s a Control Freak!

54

Chapter 7

Look Inside Your Heart

61

Chapter 8

Into the Smog

75

Chapter 9

The Judgment Machine

88

Chapter 10

Gripping Stories

98

Chapter 11

The Kiss of Life

105

Chapter 12

Name it and Tame It

111

Chapter 13

Look at Me! Look at Me!

122

Chapter 14

The Heart of the Battle

129

Chapter 15

Take Off the Armor

137

Chapter 16

The Power of Asking Nicely

147

Chapter 17

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

155

Chapter 18

Open Your Eyes

163

Chapter 19

Sticky Situations

176

Chapter 20

The Christmas Truce

184

Chapter 21

Intimacy

189

Chapter 22

Old Word, New Take

198

Chapter 23

Building a Trust Fund

202

Chapter 24

Let Your Self Go

207

Chapter 25

And Now, Time for Some Fun!

212

Chapter 26

The Adventure Continues

216

Appendix

When it’s Over, it’s Over

223

Resources

225

Recommended Reading

226

References

227